IN YOUR STUDIES OF THE PHILOSOPHY OF PHENOMENA, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IMPRESSED YOU THE MOST?
DR: I think I must say that is the realization of the power of Unconditional Love.
WHY WAS THAT THE ONE OUT OF SO MANY?
DR: As a young child growing up in a world of family, friends and interests, it was amazing that no matter what was going on in my life, I was also always looking for a reason for everything that was happening to me. I was told that I was loved, but what did that mean? I didn’t get much attention for I had a baby brother that seemed to take it all. Besides that, I was very quiet and very sensitive and remembered things that did not appear to be real in the actual world around me. “What am I doing here?” I often asked myself. I wanted to have more answers or reasons than what were given to me.
DID YOUR SURROUNDINGS CHANGE MUCH AS YOU GREW OLDER?
DR: As I matured sooner than most because of the trying times in my family’s life, I found myself wanting to know more about what I was supposed to be doing with my life. It had to be more than the suffering and pain that was going on all around me at that time of my life.
Fortunately, I had a very creative imagination in the darkness of the night as I lay in my bed unable to sleep. Even when in a movie theatre in my early years watching some inspiring film on the big screen in front of me I found myself yearning to understand and know more than anything in the world what true love really was. Was it what I saw on the screen or read in the romantic books in the library? What my mother said it was, felt more like sacrifice and suffering than joy and happiness.
HOW DID YOU OVERCOME THIS DILEMMA AT SUCH AN EARLY AGE?
DR: I tried not to think that love was my life’s mission. I would continually remind myself that it couldn’t be so simple. Everyone knows what love is, but to me it had to be something much more meaningful. There had to be in there somewhere 1) a selfless way to serve Humanity, 2) or a way of life that had Spiritual Meaning, and 3) a Special Family Unit where family members truly cared for each other and always celebrated life’s ups and downs together surrounded by unconditional love. I truly desired to know what I was really doing here. I realize now that I had a very deep need to understand what common life was all about. Nothing about my surroundings made any sense to me as a child. I felt I was different from everyone around me. I did not feel that I belonged where I was and I didn’t fit in very well. I had an awareness that went beyond the usual and I often felt lost in my surroundings. What was I doing here.
When I questioned the way things were, because I felt I was unfairly being picked on, I was often asked in frustration by my own mother, “Who do you think you are? The Queen of England?”
As I grew I eventually felt I had to give up that inner need to understand to finally realize just what my mission was this lifetime. As I looked back on it all, it appears to be all about Unconditional Love. I eventually came to the realization that Love is the glue that keeps us in the “here and now” so that our souls can grow and expand with our ever expanding Universal Loving Awareness.
(To be continued….)
-posted verbatim from e-file last modified 6/27/2004 11:15 PM by Dr Dris.